Stuperhero Extraordinaire

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08/08/2007

Still Alive

I still haven't awarded the Creative Blogger Awards yet, but I promise you I have not forgotten about it. I've been going through some shit lately and coming to some realizations that are forcing me to make fundamental changes in my life. I'm tired of the bullshit and the lies and I'm coming to terms with a lot of things, bringing out into the light of day all those things that I've been hiding in the darkness of my soul for so long.

And it's going to take some work to implement these changes. A lot of work. Hard work. That's going to suck. I have a whole list of things I need to do to get my life back together and first two on the list are getting a therapist and starting AA.

The sad thing is that for a long time I had convinced myself I was better, that I didn't need therapy, and I could control my addiction. But recent events have revealed to me just how far I have to go. It's a lot farther than I thought.

:::sigh:::

But at least I'm not hiding from it anymore. That was getting me nowhere fast.

Now I just have to force myself to take action. The follow through has always been the hardest for me. So far I've looked up some AA groups in my area and made a few phone calls inquiring about them but I haven't been able to connect with anyone yet. I'm hoping to do that today. I think I'll attend a couple meetings a week for a while. Probably on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Or maybe Mondays and Thursdays. Something like that.

I don't want to be an addict anymore, damn it. I've been dealing with this since my teenage years and I'm sick of it. I wish it would just go away.

I know, that's never going to happen.

:::sigh:::

I've been drinking so much coffee lately I've practically been vibrating. I think I may have launched my atoms onto a whole new frequency. But I love my coffee, I can't live without it. And, weirdly enough, I've actually been sleeping better since I upped my caffeine intake. Go figure.

We had to take my cat in to have it shaved on Monday. That cost $233 when all was said and done. And that was the low estimate, at least it didn't cost $450 like they first estimated. She was so matted cuz she wouldn't let us brush her. She looks really funny right now. She's shaved all on her torso and back legs but not her head or front legs. And she's not nearly as fat as I thought, she just had a lot of fur.

Well, I'm off to do something.

Laters!

10:35 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Email this

Comments

Hello! My name is Deity and I have been drinking since I am 15 and I'm turning 40 in less than two years! Ugh!!! Come on, let's go together. There's hope for us. I know that!

You take care and go easy on the caffeine.

*Many hugs*

Posted by: deity | 08/08/2007

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