Stuperhero Extraordinaire

06/09/2007

Ah Ha!

No, I haven't slipped into the Seventh Circle of Hell. Nor have a been kidnapped by insane beauticians for my lack of fashion sense. I've just been alternating between being very busy and being way avoidy.

 

There has been so much going on with school, and the Drunken Midgets starting school, and me spending two billion dollars on back to school stuff, it's just been crazy insane. It's making me even more insane than I usually am. I'm currently waiting for the men in white jackets to come remove me and place me in a room where the walls are covered with rubber. They should be here any minute. Until then I'll just bore you to death.

 

So, I don't remember if I mentioned it or not, but the youngest Drunken Midget found a baby robin who's mother had been squished and, being the friend and caretaker to all, she brought it home. And with me being a sucker for both children and animals, I let her keep it. Well, now the damn thing is full grown and flying and pooping all over my house. She especially likes to cuddle with me in my bed, forcing me to wash my damn sheets every other day. Of course, the youngest has tired of her and doesn't watch her, clean up after her, or feed her anymore, which leaves the care of this damn thing up to me. Go figure. So, now I have to find a Wildlife Refuge or something for this robin. And the worst part is that since it imprinted on me, I'm going to miss the little bugger.

 

Damn bird.

 

I registered for Fall Semester the other day and have Business Communications (how is that different from Business Writing, which I have now?), Composition, and Health Care Law and Ethics. Another thrilling semester of totally boring classes I'll have to drag myself every Tuesday and Thursday.

 

And of course because I'm so damn broke I haven't been able to pay Argosy what I owe them they won't transfer my records to MSB, so I have no idea what will transfer over. I'm so damn tired of people that keep harrassing me for my money. It's like, don't they realize that if I could, I would pay them in a New York Minute just to get them off my fucking back? But, no, they somehow think that I'm just rolling in the dough but refuse to pay them and call to harrass me a thousand times a day.

 

So, I've been reading a ton of books on Recovery and going to five meetings a week. It's eough to make a girl want to drink again, let me tell you. (Too late)

 

I've also been reading a bunch of books on Buddhism, which are pretty good, but I'm a little lost in regards to some of their doctrine. I'm hoping that the more I read on it, the more I'll understand it. Not that I want to be a Buddist but they have many techniques on how to tame the mind and be at peace that I think will be helpful to me. My mind is forever spinning and so out of control that I could really use the help.

 

So, I'm fairly sure that even though they have some principles that can help me, I don't want to be a Buddhist so that leaves me wondering what the hell I do want to be? By process of elimination I've decided what I don't want to be, so what the hell do I want to be? I'm thinking I should just start my own damn religion and call it the Heinz 57 Religious Experience, cuz I find something useful out of every religion I study. Why not take what I like out of all of them and start my own? Cuz, really, I haven't found one that works for me yet. Paganism is about as close as I can get to adhering to a particular religion, but even that leaves me wanting in some respects.

 

So, I'm kinda stuck spiritually and dissatisfied with life in general and am pretty ready to go on a shooting spree. I'm damn sure that if I eliminate certain people I will be doing the Universe a huge favor. But then, considering I'm Pro Gun Control, that might not work so well for me.

 

At least, for the most part I'm Pro Gun Control, but my ex best friend made a good point when she said, If you outlaw guns, then the Government will be the only one with the firepower, and we all know how fucked up the Government can be. So, I'm torn on that issue as well, like I'm torn on most things in life.

 

I just don't know what I believe anymore. Nor do I even know who I am. I feel lost and completely stuck.

 

So, that's where I've been lately, in case you were wondering.

 

Much love to all my buddies and friends out in cyberspace.

 

Laters!

 

Raven 

17:11 Posted in A Touch of the Divine , Blather , Recovery | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

25/08/2007

Long Way to Go

My life has been so uneventful, I don't even know what to say. It's been school, the kids, and meetings all week. Nothing very exciting. I'm settling into a routine with my meetings and have one for every day of the week except Wednesdays. My favorite ones being on Mondays and Tuesdays. Those are my home groups.

 

I've been reading like crazy, lots of good books on Recovery. Right now I'm reading A Place Called Self, which is really good so far. Other than that, not much going on. Just working on myself and trying to keep my head above water.

 

School is really getting to me, my classes are so very boring. I'm hoping that for next semester I have some more interesting ones.

 

In a couple more weeks I see my therapist for the first time. It's a man, I've never had a male therapist before, so we shall see how that goes. If I don't like him I can always switch to another one. I'm anxious to get in and see him and get started working on my issues, I have quite a few of them. It's going to be a long haul, but it will be worth it. I just wish I didn't have to wait so long to see him.

 

I'm feeling very tense and agitated this morning. I'm trying to be mindful and just enjoy the peace and quiet of my morning, but I'm having a hard time doing that. I have so much running through my head, I can't seem to quiet my mind. I have a long to do list, and I don't want to do any of it. You should see my pile of laundry, it's HUGE. It's going to take me forever, and cost me a fortune to do it all.

 

So, I'm on steps 2 & 3 in my program, which have to do with turning my life over to my Higher Power. I'm still struggling to figure out what I believe about God. I don't adhere to any particular religion, I'm taking bits and pieces from many different ones, mostly Paganism and Buddhism.

 

I feel kind of lost spiritually. I sort of miss the absolute black and whiteness of Christianity, but just can't stomach a lot of what is in the Bible. I feel like a woman without a spiritual home. I don't know exactly what I believe about God, and I think a part of me is afraid to follow a particular religious path because I'm afraid it will be the wrong one and God will let me down again. Does that make any sense at all?

 

But I'm spiritually hungry, and I don't know where to turn. I have this void in me that I used to fill with chemicals, but now it's just there, waiting to devour me. I feel empty and long to be complete. So, I'm just taking it day by day and praying that God will reveal herself to me and grant me faith.

 

Well, I'm off to read some more.

 

Laters!

09:00 Posted in Blather , Books , Recovery | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

22/08/2007

Can I Use Your Toaster?

I am in a much better mood today than I have been the last few days. I've been so crabby and no fun to be around, but today I feel much better. I've been averaging about five to six meetings a week, which has been great, and I've met a bunch of wonderful people. I went to my favorite meeting last night, a women's Step and Tradition meeting, and talked to the woman who may become my sponsor. I am very grateful to AA for helping me to find some semblance of serenity in my life.

 

I've been reading books on Recovery every chance I get. I'm trying to immerse myself in Recovery materials in the hopes that sobriety will stick this time. I've had periods of sobriety before, but wasn't as serious about it as I am this time, so hopefully that will make a difference.

 

The Drunken Midgets are getting excited for school to start, and I am thrilled beyond belief that in a couple weeks I'll have my house back during the day. I love them dearly, but they are starting to drive me insane. I came home from school yesterday to the youngest just sobbing cuz her sister had hit her for being bossy or some such reason. That was fun. NOT! I just love coming home to a fight.

 

And I have to get my lazy ass up off the couch soon and start picking up cuz the cleaning lady is coming today. It should only take an hour to get it picked up, but I'm not looking forward to it. I hate cleaning.

 

I am utterly and completey exhausted. I've been waking up really, really early, like at 2:30 in the morning, and not able to get back to sleep. It really sucks. But, it's given me plenty of time to read, that's for sure. I want to go to the bookstore today and pick up a book I saw on Buddhism and Recovery, but I'm not sure if I'll get up there or not. I have two appointments for me today, and the eldest has a violin lesson and a doctor's appointment today, so I'll be pretty busy.

 

I drink way too much coffee. And I've been smoking like a chimney. I really have to cut down on both of those things. Every time I start to run low on smokes I think, Maybe I'll quit today, but then the Drunken Midgets start fighting or a bill collector calls and I'm off to the store for more. Besides, it was hard enough to quit using, I think I'll save quitting smoking and caffeine for another day.

 

So, I will continue vibrating into other dimensions for a bit longer.

 

I am so fucking bored. I could be doing homework but it's not even 6:30 in the morning yet, and that's just way too damn early to do homework. But it would be nice to get it over with. I have to write a business letter about, get this, pigeons who were poisoned by the Hilton, of all things. Go figure.

 

In other news, I have to call to register for fall semester today. Starting in October I'll be up to full time. But, I will always have Friday's off as they don't have class on those days, so that will be nice. I'm hoping I don't have to take all business classes next sem cuz they are so very boring. I'm dying in Keyboarding and Business Writing. They are the most boring classes on the planet.

 

It is so damn humid outside. I'm so sick of heat and humidity. This weekend it was nice and cool and I didn't even have to have the air on, which was nice as my electric bill was close to $200 last month. But, it did rain this weekend, which threw my pain into overdrive. Yet, I do like the rain. Especially on days when I can sleep in. I love to curl up in bed and listen to the rain as I fall asleep. And we needed the rain badly, it's been so dry this summer.

 

K, well, I'm off to read some more.

 

Laters!

11:31 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

11/08/2007

Stuck

I forced myself to go to a meeting on Thursday. You have no idea how hard that was, it was a huge group and I didn't know anyone. But, it was a good meeting and I'm glad I went.

 

I feel like I'm stuck at a crossroads. I can go on living my life the way I have been and never get any better, just slip back into hell over and over again, or I can do something to change my life, work to better myself and grow as a person. I know what I want to do, but do I want it badly enough? Cuz it's going to take some hard work and I'll have to start making different choices, hard choices, and I'm having trouble moving forward. I'm just stuck here, looking at where I'm headed and wanting to change direction, but I can't seem to force myself to take action.

 

I mean, I've already taken some action. I went to AA and that was a big step. I didn't go to the liquor store last night like I desperately wanted to. That was a good choice. But, I need to do a whole lot more and I'm afraid. Very afraid. At least with the pain and shit that I've been going through it's familiar, I know what is what. But if I'm going to make fundamental changes in my life, that means facing the dreaded unknown and that is fucking scary.

 

It's been so much easier just to be stagnated and stuck hiding from the world. Or maybe it isn't easier. Maybe I'm just making things worse with my procrastination and avoidance. In fact, I'm sure I am but somehow it seems easier just to stay stuck. It's what I know.

 

But I'm so tired of being here, being stagnant. Though I couldn't admit it to msyelf for a long time, I'm miserable here and need to do something to change it. I'm tired of being alone and miserable and alienating the people around me. It's like I so much want someone to be there for me, but all I do is push them away.

 

But, I have to realize that change takes action. I'm used to just letting life happen to me and then dealing with whatever chaos it throws my way. That really fucking sucks. It's not the way I want to live anymore. At least that's what I keep telling myself in the hopes that I will finally get up and do something to change the way I live. I can talk about the changes I have to make all I want, but it doesn't do me any good if I choose to do nothing.

 

:::sigh:::

 

I just wish someone had a magic wand and could wave away all of my troubles. But, I have this feeling that isn't going to happen. Bummer dude. Does it ever get easier?

 

Well, I'm off to clean or read my Big Book or something.

 

Laters!

 

18:39 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Comments (3) | Email this

08/08/2007

Still Alive

I still haven't awarded the Creative Blogger Awards yet, but I promise you I have not forgotten about it. I've been going through some shit lately and coming to some realizations that are forcing me to make fundamental changes in my life. I'm tired of the bullshit and the lies and I'm coming to terms with a lot of things, bringing out into the light of day all those things that I've been hiding in the darkness of my soul for so long.

 

And it's going to take some work to implement these changes. A lot of work. Hard work. That's going to suck. I have a whole list of things I need to do to get my life back together and first two on the list are getting a therapist and starting AA.

 

The sad thing is that for a long time I had convinced myself I was better, that I didn't need therapy, and I could control my addiction. But recent events have revealed to me just how far I have to go. It's a lot farther than I thought.

 

:::sigh:::

 

But at least I'm not hiding from it anymore. That was getting me nowhere fast.

 

Now I just have to force myself to take action. The follow through has always been the hardest for me. So far I've looked up some AA groups in my area and made a few phone calls inquiring about them but I haven't been able to connect with anyone yet. I'm hoping to do that today. I think I'll attend a couple meetings a week for a while. Probably on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Or maybe Mondays and Thursdays. Something like that.

 

I don't want to be an addict anymore, damn it. I've been dealing with this since my teenage years and I'm sick of it. I wish it would just go away.

 

I know, that's never going to happen.

 

:::sigh:::

 

I've been drinking so much coffee lately I've practically been vibrating. I think I may have launched my atoms onto a whole new frequency. But I love my coffee, I can't live without it. And, weirdly enough, I've actually been sleeping better since I upped my caffeine intake. Go figure.

 

We had to take my cat in to have it shaved on Monday. That cost $233 when all was said and done. And that was the low estimate, at least it didn't cost $450 like they first estimated. She was so matted cuz she wouldn't let us brush her. She looks really funny right now. She's shaved all on her torso and back legs but not her head or front legs. And she's not nearly as fat as I thought, she just had a lot of fur.

 

Well, I'm off to do something.

 

Laters!

10:35 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

27/07/2007

Long Time No Blog

It's been a while since I've blogged here. And I still haven't awarded my Creative Blogger Awards either. I have an idea of who I'm going to pick, but haven't sat down to do the post yet. I've been so tired and sore, not to mention trying to get over this cold. My cough is still horrible.

 

I was doing so well in Keyboarding up until the last couple units. They have some timed testst that you have to do perfectly, and you can't backspace to erase an error. I can type over 70 words a minute, if no numbers are involved, but I do a lot of backspacing cuz I tend to transpose my letters a lot. So between having to type it right the first time and plus I'm so used to backspacing I try to do it and start the word over, and then I make it worse than if I had just left the letters transposed, it's really bringing down my accuracy. There's only one section in the unit that's like that, thank Goddess, and on all the other timed tests I do great cuz I can backspace.

 

Boy, that was a whole lot of typing about nothing really. It's like Seinfeld, but on a blog, and not as funny. Not that I ever thought Seinfeld was that funny. I never really watched that show. Once in a great while I'll watch a rerun if there's nothing else on, but I can usually only make it halfway through it before I opt for the infomercial instead. Although, I do think Kramer is hilarious, but he just can't hold the show together by himself.

 

I hope I can go out this weekend. I wanted to go out for my birthday yesterday but it didn't happen. I was really hoping my mom would offer to take the Drunken Midgets to the cabin this weekend, but that's just not going to happen. But, I'm sure she's tired from having company all week.

 

If I can find a gf that can go out, I'm leaving the girls alone for a while tonight or tomorrow night, cuz they have to learn to get along eventually, damn it. I'd like to go out with a certain someone again, but there has been no invitation forthcoming, so I'm about ready to write him off as a lost cause.

 

In other news, I have no other news!

 

Laters!

Raven aka Spaced Girl Hero

09:42 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

23/07/2007

Monkeys on Acid

I feel yucky today. And blah, very blah. Not to mention tired. I did not sleep well again last night. I woke up about 2 then fell back asleep around 3:30 for an hour or so. Yesterday was a very long day. I did manage to get my room halfway cleaned up, I'll hopefully finish the rest of it today. I also have homework to do :-(

 

The eldest Drunken Midget came home yesterday and the fighting started as soon as we got in the car to head home. Boy, was that fun. I'm hoping they sleep in today and give me some peace and quiet this morning. I'm also hoping to hear from a certain someone who I went out with last week. We shall see if he actually calls.

 

Apparently on Wednesday night we are supposed to go see Hairspray, though I'm not looking forward to it. I'm just not in the mood to sit in a theatre for two plus hours. Maybe by the time Wednesday rolls around I'll have changed my mind.

 

It's supposed to be hot and humid again today. Yuck. I hate this weather. I'm always hot anyway, even in the winter, so when it gets to be 90 and humid, I just can't stand it. I hate being all sweaty and hot. Unless of course there's some sex involved, then it's okay, but otherwise it's no good.

 

Other than going out on Friday night it was a pretty uneventful weekend. I spent some time with my family and that was nice. But, it was a pretty mellow, laid back weekend, which was okay.

 

I don't know what I'm going to do today, other than a couple hours worth of homework. That, and getting the Drunken Midgets to do their chores. I want to have the house presentable so I can actually have company over for once.

 

Wow, it's only 7 and it's already so hot I'm going to have to break down and turn on the air. My electric bill is going to be so high, it's going to make me cry when I receive it.

 

Well, I'm off to watch Charmed.

 

Laters!

12:02 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this

22/07/2007

So Very Bored

Oh my Goddess I am so bored. There is nothing on tv on Sundays and the youngest Drunken Midget is sleeping in my room and I'm waiting for her to get up so I can clean my room and then shower. I'm also waiting to hear from my mom to see what they have going on today. So for the moment I am just waiting and waiting with absolutely nothing to do. I suppose I could clean the rest of the house, but I already paid the eldest to do it and I'm sure she'll already have spent the money so I might as well wait for her to come home and do it.

 

We've had a good time with my Grandma and Uncle. My Uncle flies out to Albany today so the eldest won't get a chance to see him before she returns, so that's too bad. But, my Grandma is here until sometime next week so she'll get to see her.

 

Well, the youngest is up, so I guess I have no excuses for not getting my ass in gear and doing something.

 

Laters!

16:10 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

21/07/2007

An Award, and a Social Life, All In One Day!

Zephyr at ClimateOfOurFuture.org has awarded me the Creative Blogger Award! I am so flattered and touched, thank you so much! To see the link and rules go here.... I need to award it to five people, which is going to take some thought, so I'll have to get back to ya'll on that one. I don't know how well the pic is going to show up on my blog, but I'm giving it a try.

 

I had a wonderful day yesterday. I think I may have found my social life, at least for a day. It was buried under all the laundry, go figure. It was a bit wrinkled and stinky, but a little Febreeze took care of that. Despite the fact that I'm still not feeling the best, I went out with a guy I met online in the afternoon, then I went out with my gf for a few drinks and some karaoke last night. It was the first time I'd been able to go out on a girls' night in ages and ages, we had so much fun. I just wish that I could have stayed out longer, but by the time I got there I only had a couple hours before I had to pick up the youngest Drunken Midget at my bro's house. It was so nice of him to watch her for me. Well, them, cuz my sister-in-law was there too, but I think she went to bed early.

 

Yes, I know I blogged about that on my other blog, but it's so rare that I get to go out, especially twice in one day, so I had to share it again.

 

In other news, I have not done any homework yet this weekend, I'm probably going to do it tomorrow. Or Monday if I don't go see my nephew. As usual I'll put it off as long as I can. But, it will get done. Eventually. It's not going to be very hard, just time consuming.

 

I am so bad, I have postcards I have to send to all my friends from when I was on vacation and I still haven't gotten up to the post office to send them yet. I hate the post office and generally avoid it like the plague, but I have a few things I have to put in the mail. Sorry guys that it's taking so long. I haven't forgotten about you.

 

I am so freaking bored right now. No one is up yet and I have nothing to do. I tried writing, I'm coming up on the tail end of what I have written of my book so far on my writing blog, and I want to add more, but I just can't seem to get it out. I'm so tired of having writer's block and no amount of blunt force trauma to the head seems to be dislodging anything.

 

I could read Dead and Unwed, but I'm so hopped up on caffiene I don't think I could focus on it. That's what I get for having four cups of coffee as opposed to my usual two. But, I was so tired when I woke up today I had to do something. I was up later than usual, way past my bedtime, so I needed something to wake me up. Now I'm definitely awake!! Though I've got coffee gut somethin' fierce.

 

And, D, I just have to say thanks so much for last night, I had so much fun. We have to do it again soon!

 

K, I'm off to find a way to entertain myself.

 

Laters!

 

 

13:14 Posted in Blather , Family | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

20/07/2007

Kicking Stupervirus Ass!

Our favoritest stuperhero reclines in her purple satin bed, lounging in her purple jammies... cough, cough, GASP wheeze...BARK... COUGH! She is feeling somewhat better, though her cough is getting worse and she just finished coughing up her left lung (Can someone please get that for me?). But, being a stuperhero, not even the deadliest of stuperviruses can get her down for long so she is confident she will be back to her stupersexy self in no time.

 

Thanks to everyone who left comments with their well wishes yesterday! And yes Bob, you may use stupervirus if you like with no fear of a nasty curse. Thanks for asking!

 

In other news, despite losing my left lung a few minutes ago, I'm doing surprisingly well. I feel better, though as I said, the cough is worse. I really need to quit smoking :::as she lights up a smoke:::

 

My Grandma and Uncle come into town today so hopefully I will get to see them, but if not I will this weekend. Since I'm starting to feel better, I'm hopefully not contagious anymore. The Drunken Midgets didn't get sick, so that's a good sign. Well, at least the youngest didn't. I haven't talked to the eldest since Wednesday when she left for Jamboree. Hopefully she doesn't get sick while she is there.

 

So, I'm meeting someone for coffee or whatnot this morning. I'm feeling a bit nervous, but not too much. I figure if he doesn't like me, he doesn't know what he's missing. Besides, I'm not too sure if I want to get into any kind of relationship right now anyway. So, if something comes of it, then cool, but if not, I'm not going to be devestated. 

 

Well, I'm off to blog on other blogs and read my friend's blogs.

 

Laters!

08:55 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this

19/07/2007

The Nastiest of Stuperviruses

:::Hack, hack, cough, cough... BARK... gasp.. cough, cough, cough, cough... gasp... wheeze... hack, hack, cough cough...:::

 

Our favorite and most sexiest stuperhero lies in a heap on her purple satin sheets, convinced that this is the end. She is sick AGAIN and this just may be the deadliest stupervirus ever known to humankind.

 

Suddenly she stirs slightly, desperately trying to speak in between boughts of hacking and coughing. Finally, she is able to get the words out...

 

"Damn it, I need a smoke!" She weakly exclaims.

 

Yes, I'm sick again. I was feeling damn good after a few days of wheat grass juice, but then I ran out of money and within a week I was sick again. I need to either buget in money for wheat grass juice or start taking some serious vitamins cuz I think my immune system is about shot. This is the second time I've been sick in a month, it's just not fucking fair.

 

Well, one upside to being sick is having absolutely no appetite, so I'll lose some more weight quickly. Pretty soon I'll be back into my skinny clothes. Yay! I'm hoping that by this winter I can fit back into my jeans cuz otherwise I'm going to have to buy more and I really don't want to do that.

 

In other news, I am down one Drunken Midget, which sucks when I'm sick cuz it's hard to entertain the youngest when I've been inflicted by a deadly stupervirus.

 

Tomorrow my Grandma and Uncle come into town. I've been looking forward to that. I'll get to see my nephew again too, but if I'm still sick I won't be able to hold him. But, I got to hold him all day on Monday and my relatives probably want to have a chance to hold him, so that's okay.

 

K, well, I'm going to go curl up in a ball and die.

 

Laters!

 

 

 

 

09:36 Posted in A Whole Lotta Nothin' , Blather | Permalink | Comments (5) | Email this

18/07/2007

Good Vibrations

I'm having another one of those 'vibrate into another dimension' days. I've only had three cups of coffee so far, but I left out the creamer in the last one so that it would be stronger cuz I am exhausted, so all my molecules are once again vibrating at 50 times their normal speed.

 

Yesterday was a very good day at school, although very boring. I have the same teacher for both classes and listening to her talk for three hours got a bit old. But, I rocked in my Keyboarding class and am already two units ahead of everyone else. She said if we finish all of our work by the ninth week, we wouldn't have to come to class the final week, so that's what I'm shooting for.

 

I do have a bit of homework I have to do today though. I have to read a chapter and answer a bunch of review questions for Business Writing. I'm sure that will be mind numbingly boring, but let me tell you, it's so much better than having to study for labs. I'm tellin' ya, Hematology almost killed me. And then there was Chemistry, which was just as bad. I'm really hoping all those labs transfer over from Argosy so I don't have to take anymore.

 

Of course, I may never know as they won't release my damn transcripts until I start making payments on that overpayment at Argosy. I made arrangements, but haven't had the money to honor them, so I'm kinda screwed. I still don't think I should have to pay that back, it was their damn clerical error, not mine. I even called to make sure it was all mine cuz it seemed like a lot, and they said yes, it's all yours, go ahead and spend away!

 

Bastards.

 

They killed Kenny!

 

Those bastards!! 

 

Just kidding.

 

Sorry, South Park backflash there.

 

It's from all that acid I did in the 60's.

 

Okay, so I wasn't even alive in the 60's and have never done acid in my life. But it sounded good.

 

In other news, the eldest Drunken Midget will be gone for the next five days at Girl Scout Jamboree. So, there won't be any fighting, at least not between them, but that means I have to entertain the youngest all week. That's going to suck. Maybe if I'm lucky she'll stay at a friend's house and I can have a night to myself. Not that I have any money or anywhere to go, but that's okay. I don't mind being alone. I tend to prefer my own company anyway. Being a narcississtic Leo, would you expect any different?

 

K, it's about that time again, Angel is about to start.

 

Laters!

09:48 Posted in Blather , Drunken Midgets , School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

17/07/2007

Anxious

I'm feeling particularly anxious today. Partly, I'm sure, cuz I start class today, but also partly because my nurse comes today and I hate it when she comes, especially since my kitchen is a mess. Well, my whole house really, but she generally only goes into the kitchen.

 

I have to put the Drunken Midgets to work today when I get home from school. I can't wait to get to school and be around adults again!!

 

I had such a fanastic time with my nephew yesterday, I hope to do it again soon. My sister-in-law said she was able to get so much done, so I was happy about that. I'm glad I was able to help, I remember how hard it is to have a new baby.

 

The eldest Drunken Midget leaves tomorrow for Girl Scout Jamboree, and she'll be away for five days. Then my uncle and grandma come into town from California on Friday. I'm excited about that. And they are very excited to see my nephew. My youngest was complaining because she didn't get to come with me yesterday to see Will and when grandma and Sean are in town, they will hog him. I tried to explain that Will isn't going anywhere, but that didn't seem to help.

 

She loves her new cousin very much.

 

I suppose, I had better go, Angel is starting in a minute.

 

Laters!

09:58 Posted in Blather , Drunken Midgets , Family | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

16/07/2007

Long Day

What a day I've had so far. I went over to my sister-in-law's to help her with the baby so she could take a nap and get some stuff done around the house, and I really loved that, cuz I adore my nephew. Unfortunately the youngest Drunken Midget sobbed hysterically for an hour after I left, most of it with me on my cell phone, and in general threw a huge fit about me leaving. And she's 12. I thought we were past the whole separation anxiety thing.

 

I know part of it was she wanted to go with me, but she just lost it completely and was so hysterical all she could say was, "I need  you. I need you. I need you." Over and over again. I thought I was going to lose it myself. But finally she calmed down. Thank Goddess, I would have been pissed if I had to leave my nephew cuz my 12 year old was flipping out and induced an asthma attack.

 

So, I am very tired, and I have so much to do and no money with which to do it. I'm going to have to ask my mom if we can forgoe the normal cash she gives me every Friday so I can use her credit card now. The eldest is going to Jamboree with her Girl Scout troop and needs a bunch of girly crap at Target. Plus I need gas and laundry money so I can actually get to school tomorrow in clean clothes.

 

I start school tomorrow! Yay! I am so excited, and hardly nervous at all. I have to get all my stuff together tonight so I can be sure I have everything.

 

K, well I'm off to Target.

 

Laters!

19:59 Posted in Blather , Drunken Midgets , Family | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

14/07/2007

Nummy Juice

We went to Inta Juice yesterday and my youngest tried Wheat Grass Juice for the first time. That was very funny. She took one sip, grimaced like I've never seen and asked "Can I plug my nose when I drink it?" But she was determined to drink it cuz she knows one ounce is the equivelant to 8 lbs of veggies, and it's full of vitamins and antioxidants and all this great stuff. I personally love the taste, though it was an acquired taste and I've graduated from one ounces to two ounces and I sip it, I don't slam it cuz if  you slam it you don't absorb the vitamins completely.

 

I love Wheat Grass Juice and I so wish I could afford to buy it and juice it myself every day. I swear by it. When I was drinking it every day before I went walking I had more energy, I was in less pain, and I didn't get sick once. It really is just like drinking grass though, and some people just can't get used to the taste. But, at Inta Juice, as probably with most places, they give you an orange juice chaser so that helps with the taste. Plus I always get a smoothie with some Ginseng and Vitamin C to go with it. I LOVE Inta Juice, in case you can't tell.

 

Of course, after our trip to Inta Juice, we stopped across the street at McDonalds, but we were partially full of smoothies and Wheat Grass Juice so we didn't get very much. But still. It was bad.

 

So yeah, hitting Inta Juice yesterday was the highlight of my day cuz I don't get to stop there often, I just can't afford it. The youngest and I spent $13.00 there yesterday, though we did get a total of three ounces of Wheat Grass Juice, and two large smoothies.

 

I'm loving my hair, I finally got it cut and dyed. It was so long, I had to stand up when she cut it, she couldn't do it with me in the chair. There was so much hair on the floor that I was scared at first, but I love how it turned out and it's going to be so easy to fix. And since I started using Organic shampoo and conditioner my hair is so very soft and shiny. I'm telling you, everything is better organic. I just wish I could afford to go all organic, but it's so damn expensive. But I felt so much healthier when I was eating that way.

 

Otay, I'm off to watch Dharma and Greg.

 

Laters! 

 

 

11:18 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this

Say What?

:::big yawn and a streeeeeetch::: I have been up on and off all night. I even tried to give up sleeping and made coffee at one point only to get tired again and fall back asleep for an hour or so. Now I'm up for the final time. Probably. It's almost five and my shows will be on at six.

 

And people wonder how I can get up so early in the morning, believe me, there is no choice involved in it. No matter what time I go to bed at night, I'm wide awake by four in the morning. If I'm lucky I'll sleep through until four, but more often than not I'm up every hour or so. Which, I guess is pretty normal with fibromyalgia but the meds I'm on are supposed to be helping that.

 

I think I missed an appointment with my psych while I was on vacation. Oooops. I hope that they don't make me pay for it, cuz that would really suck.

 

Now I just have to start figuring out where I'm going to be living come October 31. I have to move on Samhain, how much does that suck? I should tell them that moving on that day is against my religion. I wonder if I could use that as a valid excuse. Would they make a Christian move on Christmas? Probably, knowing my landlord.

 

My kidney hurts. I know that was rather random, but I have this sharp pain in my back about where my kidney is. It's been hurting a couple days now and it's starting to irritate me. I don't know if it's kidney related or muscle related.

 

I want to go out. I want to go out with my gf and go listen to a band. And flirt. No dancing though, cuz I can not dance to save my life. I have absolutely no rythmn (how the hell do you spell that anyway?) and I've been told it's more like an epileptic siezure than dancing when I hit the club floors. Which is fine with me, I'll just stand by and watch. I usually enjoy being the center of attention, but not in that instance!

 

But, I need to get out and away from everything and just have fun. Lots of fun. The last time I had a night out of fun was on New Year's Eve of like 2003 when we ended up on the stage with the band at midnight. Now that was a blast!

 

2003. Just pitiful.  

 

Either I don't have a sitter, or my friends don't have sitters, or I have no money. Damn it anyway.

 

I need someone to come and sweep me off my feet and out on the town for a night, all expenses paid. I'm not holding my breath on that one though!

 

K, well I'll stop babbling now.

 

Laters!

 

 

09:56 Posted in Blather | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

12/07/2007

Just Some Stuff

I am exhausted. I slept for about three hours last night after which I tossed and turned for two hours and finally gave up around four and got out of bed. Then I went to babysit for my gf D, who had some appointments. I got to see her son S, who is a cutie, and her son B, who is a great kid.

 

Now I am home and hot and tired and sore. The youngest Drunken Midget is complaining cuz she's so bored but I'm too damn tired and sore to entertain her. Maybe we'll go up to the mall, I'd like to buy a new book, even though I have about ten of them I haven't read yet. But they are all suspense thrillers and I want to try out that series by MaryJanice Davidson about Betsy the Vampire Queen or whoever the hell she is. It looks like a really good series.

 

Of course, I still need to pay my phone bill, get my Dad a bday present and card, and get a haircut, but damn it, I want those books! They are paperback it won't cost much for the first two. And then in August Lian Hearn comes out with another book from the Tales of the Otori series, which I'm very excited about, though I have yet to finish the last book I bought in the series. It wasn't that it wasn't good, I just couldn't read anymore at the time my head was stuffed full of shit for school.

 

Oh, and I need to get dinner for my bro and sister-in-law on Saturday. That shouldn't cost too much though.

 

Well, I suppose I'll take the Drunken Midgets up to the mall.