Stuperhero Extraordinaire

28/12/2006

Okay As Of Last Night

Well, I received a very brief email from the bf late last night saying he was okay but haven't heard anything since then. Usually we exchange several emails a day by now so I'm still very concerned. I don't know if communication is still down from the attack or what. I have no idea what is going on other than as of ten o'clock last night he was still okay. I hate this. I can't stand it when he can't communicate with me so I have no idea what's going on.

 

So, that's where it stands right now.

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27/12/2006

Say a Prayer, Please...

I hate this damn war. My bf's unit has been under attack last night and all day today and I'm worried sick about him. We were supposed to 'get together' online last night but when they came under attack he couldn't leave work. He sent me a quick email this morning to tell me what's going on but I haven't heard from him since and he didn't reply to the email I sent him. I'm going crazy not knowing what's going on or if he's okay. Please say a prayer for him.

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17/04/2006

Evolve Fish

Thanks to Clever Girl Assassin I found the best website!  It's called EvolveFish and it has the best bumper stickers, buttons and such.  Here is just a small sample of what you can find there:

Frodo failed
Bush has the Ring!

If men became pregnant
Abortion would be a sacrament

Abstinence makes the
Church grow fondlers

BACK OFF
I’m a Goddess!

Bipartisanship
I’ll hug your elephant
if you kiss my ass

Come the rapture
Can I have your car?

Don’t pray in our school
I won’t think in your church

Focus on your own damn family

Germans supported their troops too

God Bless America
Fuck the Assholes that run it!

God is coming
And She is pissed!

I’m HAPPY to be an American
But not particularly PROUD to be one

If conservatives are so patriotic
Why do they keep sending
Our jobs overseas?

If you can read this
You were not raptured

It’s your hell
You burn in it!

 

Has anyone seen my constitutional rights?

 

Religion is for people afraid of going to hell
Spirituality is for people who have been there

 

And, my favorite one on that site:

 

Hehehehehe

Laters!
Raven

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16/03/2006

Does It Have to be Kosher Salt?

CREEK!

The secret door to Raven’s Pantry O Voodoo opens slightly as she peers out to ensure that she is alone.

SQWAK!

She pushes the chicken back inside the large burlap sack and exits the hidden room quickly before she can be seen.  In her other hand is a pound of kosher salt and a sack filled with various and sundry noxious smelling herbs.  It looks as though our stuperhero is bound and determined to curse someone, but who on Mother Earth could it be?  She is surrounded by so many people who take her for granted and walk all over her that it’s anybody’s guess whom she will curse first.  Judging by the immensity of the chicken she is about to pluck and the sheer volume of stinky herbs in her pouch she could be planning to cast a plethora of well-deserved curses, the Law of Threefold be damned.  Tune in next time dear readers and find out who is on her list……

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14/03/2006

Rebel Damn It!!

'Ello All!!  How is everyone this fine day?  I am fantabulous, thank you for asking.  So, here is yet another reason why I'm not the 'Average Mom.'

 

You see, I'm just DYING for one of my girls to decide they want a green Mohawk. Well, any color will work.  I even found out from Clever Girl which hair product to use, but they just won't let me have any fun!!  When I was a teenager I never could have sported a Mohawk of any color; my Mom would have taken one look at it and brought me to the priest for an Exorcism!  Because of that I am now forced to rebel against the man vicariously through my children, don't they understand that???  Plus, I know it would really piss off her Dad!!

 

Aren't I terrible......

 

Hehehehehehehehehehehehe 

 

Laters!
Raven

 

 

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03/03/2006

Suffer My Attitude!

Good Afternoon Everyone!  I survived another day of Chemistry, totally ACED my test and my lab so I'm in an incredibily wonderful mood.  Ready for more of my attitude?  Probably not but here we go:
 
So, when talking to my best girlfriend and fellow alter ego Clever Girl Assassin, she mentioned that one of the things she loves about me is the fact that I’ll be quick to tell someone to fuck off.  Not in a rude, self centered, obnoxious way but in an ‘I don’t take shit from no one’ kinda way.  Her favorite example is when we were with her ex pseudo boyfriend after a night at the Liffey.  (Oooh, I love this story! hehehehe) He was blathering on about something, and had been for like ever, so I started talking over him, and he was all “Excuse me Richard’s* talking now!”  I glanced at him, oh so casually told him to fuck off, and continued on in my story without missing a beat.  Apparently he looked to Clever Girl like “Are you going to let her say that to me?” to which her reply was to simply shrug and say “That’s why I love her.”  Of course, Richard is the kind of guy to be tickled over something like that so luckily no blood had to be shed that eve. 
 
Yes, I do have a point, well, somewhat of a point, in the telling of this story, though I think I’m starting to lose it so bear with me for a minute.  I’ll get to it eventually.    Yes, I admit that I am the kind of gal that won’t hesitate to share my opinion, and I don’t bother to sugarcoat it.  If it’s a fact, I won’t slap a pretty euphemism on it and dress it up in frilly, polite finery. It is what it is; if people don’t like me because I state a fact, oh fucking well.  Until very recently, I spent a lot of energy trying to speak and behave in an ‘acceptable’ manner so that everyone would like me.  You know what I realized?  It’s a complete waste of energy.  I’ve found that I don’t like most people anyway so why the hell do I care whether or not they like me?  I’ve got something to say and if people don’t like it I really don’t give a rat’s ass.  Every day I’m forced to endure the witless and ignorant opinions of everyone around me.  I figure that if I’m forced to suffer as they assert their First Amendment right to freedom of speech then they can suffer as I exert mine, frequently, loudly, and in public!
 
*Names have been changed to protect the British.

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01/03/2006

BEWARE!

WARNING!  WARNING!  WARNING!

 

The other personalities have taken control and I can't be held responsible for the atrocities they have uttered.....if any of you were offended by their statements....I DON'T CARE!! 

 

I know, I scare myself sometimes.

 

Laters!

 

Raven

 

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Taking a Mental Health Day

I woke up at 4:30 this morning and did Chemistry for several hours and then decided to take the rest of the day as a mental health day.  So, I skipped Immunology and have been spending all morning backing up the files on my hard drive.  In doing so I found a bunch of short stories I wrote a few years ago when I was in my man hating phase.  Here is one of them:

You must not ever forget.  Never let the images wander out of remembrance.  Always recall the pain, the suffering that they inflicted upon you now that your heart has grown cold and black, ceasing its rhythmic beat, allowing you this exceptional opportunity of ultimate vengeance.  Commit to memory each one of them, how they lied shamelessly, causing you to believe their cruel flattery, deceiving you to make you think you were special to them, a rare and valued treasure that they were blessed to discover. Remember how you foolishly accepted the notion that they were not the malicious devils lurking through your nightmares in the predawn hours, yet they each inflicted untold damage in their own unique way.  Their visages varied, their tactics were singular, but the resulting agony striking your core was always the same, forever devastating.   You must not forget, for to forget is to suffer eternally the pain that not even death can erase. To forget is to hope for something that will never, can never exist and when that hope is snatched away you will lose yet another piece of your dwindling identity.  Cling to the memories of the brutal torture, venomous words, evil manipulations, and indulgence of selfish desires at the expense of your sanity.  Embrace the ache, welcome it gladly, and nurture it as it blossoms into blessed rage.  The rage is your sharpest weapon if only you teach yourself how to control it to keep it from devouring you.  Shelter it within you, a precious secret hidden from those you will prey upon as they flounder blindly into your grasp.  Hunt them mercilessly, track them, draw them close, entice them, feed their egos, and seduce them with your ravenous passion. Witnesses as they lose themselves in you, are driven mad by your raw, wild, violent sexual energy.  Pleasure yourself with them, reveling in the knowledge that you will break them; shatter each one foolish enough to plummet into the angry void that was your soul.  Cherish each moment culminating into the final climax of ecstasy.  As the waves of orgasm shudder through your lifeless body experience the delicious sensation of sharp, angry teeth slicing through tender unsuspecting flesh.  Taste the erotic sweetness as their life force flows into your mouth, caressing your throat with its warmth, spreading throughout your body, imbibe their strength and luscious nourishment.  Inhale the pungent intoxicating scent of their fear as they feel their life slipping away, knowing that they are powerless to stop it, to stop you.  Glory in the revelation that once more you have seized everything you craved, leaving them with nothing, not even the breath of life.

 

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02/12/2005

Seira Dreams

Okay, in case you didn't notice, I added a new link under my blog buddies.  It's the blog of my BESTEST girlfriend ever--I've known her since 6th grade--and it's called Seira Dreams.  Yes, it's a bit different, and maybe a bit disturbing, but that's why I love her so much.  Check it out!

Seira Dreams

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26/11/2005

Stuart Townsend

Yes, I'm a sucker for a vampire...

 

They are just so sexy...

I am disturbed I know...and so very okay with that...

 

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Law and Order

I've grown quite sick of Law and Order recently, until I found Criminal Intent that is.  Vincent D'onfrio (or however you spell it) is so wonderfully, sexily, creepy!  Did you know he played Edgar in Men in Black?  I had no idea.  But, it's my FAVORITE Law and Order these days.

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20/11/2005

Misc. Shit

Just a thought:

"I write for the same reason I breathe; because if I didn't I would die."
Issac Asimov

To this I would add:

"Thus writer's block is a lot like being strangled to death."

Was Walt Disney a Misogynist??

Well, how many of his movies can you name where the Mother, if not dead as a doornail from the get-go, survives to the end of the picture??

Okay, how about this?

So, on one hand, here is the Dalai Lama.  He seeks to live his life in a peaceful manner, has devoted his life to loving his fellow humans and seeking the Divine Force that is in all.  Now, never mind all that, light him on fire and send him to hell because he doesn't believe what men tell him of God.

Now, on this hand, we have a God-fearing Christian.  Never mind that he's killed like SIX BILLION people, raped little kids on the altar consecrated to the LORD, and likes to strangle cats for fun, he gets eternal paradise because HE BELIEVES IN JESUS?

Who the hell made up that rul.e?

 

And one more thing:

‘There is only one difference between the madman and me.  I am not mad.’  Salvador Dali

‘Kill a man, and you are a murderer.  Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror.  Kill everyone and you are a god.’  Jean Rostand

Can ya tell I'm bored?
 

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19/11/2005

Judgment Part Two

“Because I committed them.”

 

“I’m sorry?” 

 

“Your first question,” she reminded him.  “Why I confessed to the murders.  I committed them.”

 

Dr. Malone was speechless.  Questions swirled through his head and he could not think of where to begin. 

 

“Why?”  He focused on what seemed to be the most obvious question at the moment. 

 

“Why did I commit them?”  When Dr. Malone nodded she continued.  “They had a Karmic Debt to pay; I ensured the fulfillment of those debts.”

 

“A Karmic Debt?”  Each answer she provided confused him further but to her it seemed so logical and obvious that he was starting to feel a bit crazy himself.  It was as though she should be evaluating him, not the other way around.

 

“Yes.  Surely you’ve heard of Karma?”

 

“Well, yes, I suppose.  I’m not exactly sure of the meaning but I have an idea.  Isn’t it similar to the idea that ‘You reap what you sow’?”

 

How she despised living in a society strangled by Christianity. 

 

“Yes, you could say that.”  She did not feel the need to explain the concept further; it would be wasted on this man. 

 

She made no attempt to hide her disgust, causing him to wonder what he could have said to upset her.  “What could they have possibly done to deserve such savage torture as you inflicted?” 

 

Obviously this idiot had not bothered to read the file before interviewing her and she answered his question with a patronizing impatience.  “If you refer to the transcript of my interrogation by the arresting officers you will find a detailed list of the transgressions committed by each victim.”
         

With some difficulty he located the transcript of which she spoke. 
         
         

The crime scene photos were gruesome enough but even more disturbing was what police termed her ‘torture kit’.  Upon a thorough search of her residence police had found a doctor’s bag full of tools and instruments with which she viciously, sadistically, and creatively tortured each victim.  Some of the contents were surgical in nature, such as a scalpel, but the majority of them were items one would find in any normal home.  A screwdriver, hammer, nail gun, table salt, filet knife, ball point pen, potato peeler, fork; normal everyday items that she used to inflict pain and suffering.
         

 “Very easily.”  She replied in response to his question.  “Each one of these men inflicted untold suffering on the women and children who trusted them.  They were dead beat dads, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, and not a single one was paying for his crimes.  I merely administered justice.”
         

“That’s what our legal system is for.”    
         

Jane laughed then, a snort of disgusted derision.  “Oh yes, this country’s fine legal system.  How silly of me, how could I forget the system that rights all wrongs and protects the victims of these heinous crimes?  Oh wait, that’s right, I didn’t forget.  Our system is useless and only serves to prove to these men that they will never suffer any real consequences for their actions.  The law lost its chance to administer ‘fair judgment’ when these men were acquitted of their crimes.  Not one of them was held accountable for his actions.  It’s now the law of Karma that must administer its own justice.”
         

“What about your ‘karmic debt?’  Surely you didn’t think you would escape the consequences of your actions whether they be legal or karmic in nature?”
         

“I did nothing wrong.”  She remarked, her eyes reflecting back to him the image of the imbecile she believed him to be.  “I merely balanced the scales of justice.  I am confident that a jury will see that.”
         

“You want this case to go to trial?”  He asked incredulously.  “Do you honestly believe that a jury will acquit you after you confessed to the torture and subsequent murders of 153 men over a four year period?”  The saying ‘busy little beaver’ suddenly popped into his mind.
         

 “If they don’t I’ll serve my sentence without compunction.  I don’t regret what I have done despite the eventual outcome of this case.  My concern lies not with the law of man but with the law of Universal Justice.”
         

Dr. Malone loosened his tie.  It seemed the air was becoming hotter by the moment and the tie was slowly strangling him.  This was not to be any easy evaluation.  In most respects she seemed to be in possession of her faculties.  Clearly articulate with well above average intelligence and no history of mental illness, she seemed as sane as anyone else these days.  Yet how could he possibly declare her to be so when she saw nothing wrong with slaughtering these men? 
         

“Jane, do you ever hear voices?”  Maybe there was a latent mental illness that had thus far evaded the doctors.
         

Unperturbed by his sudden change in subject she answered calmly and with immense gravity, “Yes I do, I hear voices quite often actually.”
         

Now they were getting somewhere.  Excited to have figured out this woman’s problem and already patting himself on the back for his astuteness he asked, “And what do they say to you?”
         

“Lately, they mostly tell me what to do, you know, when to eat, when to sleep, when to exercise, things like that.  Every once in a while they ask me if I think I’m sane, like you’re about to do.  Oh, and sometimes they congratulate me for bringing these assholes to justice” 

 

He released all of his breathless anticipation in one long frustrated exhalation as he realized she was toying with him.  The only voices she heard were those belonging to the people involved in her day-to-day life in prison.   

         

In an attempt to keep her on her toes as much as she kept him on his he once again instituted a dramatic change in subject.

 

“All right Miss Robinson, I’m afraid I must end our session here, but I’ll need to see you regularly for a while in order to complete a thorough evaluation.”
         

Jane flashed him another one of her flirty, cannibalistic smiles.  “I thought you might.  What do you say to dinner and dessert in my cell tonight?  You can stay for breakfast if you like.”
         

Even in her orange jumpsuit with no make up she was gorgeous and sensual.  She both intrigued and aroused him.  Never before had he met a woman with such confident grace and intelligence, one that was always one step ahead of him, and he found himself flirting back.
         

“Despite your tempting invitation Miss Robinson I think it would be more conducive to this evaluation if we met here three mornings a week.”  He smiled and reached out to touch her hand.
         

“You’re right Dr. Malone; we should keep our relationship professional.”  Placing her hand over his she leaned forward and whispered into his ear.  “But I know you want to fuck me.”
         

When her warm breath kissed his ear he felt the sudden urge to bend her over the table and take her right there, in front of the guard.  Immediately ashamed of his decidedly unethical reaction, he pulled back and sprung from his chair, scattering papers all over the floor.  Bending down he gathered them as she watched, chuckling softly at his flustered reaction.  She obviously had him right where she wanted, which was all the more reason to end their session early.  He needed time to regroup.
         

“Guard you may return Miss Robinson to her cell.  I’ll be back tomorrow morning at 9:00.  Good-bye.” 

 

He quickly swept all of his papers into a disorderly pile and shoved what he could into his briefcase, not bothering to put them in any semblance of order.  What wouldn’t fit he gathered under his arm.  He realized his desperate attempt to flee was a comical one but he didn’t care.  He had to distance himself from this woman.  Not only did he have a code of moral conduct to uphold, but she had tortured and killed 153 men, seemingly without remorse.  She was a cold blooded killer and the fact that he wanted her so badly despite that disgusted him. 
         

She watched him fumble clumsily with a bemused expression on her face.  As he left without another word she spoke to his retreating back.  “I’ll be counting the hours until we meet again.”
         

He stopped in his tracks for a split second and cringed almost imperceptibly, but he knew by her delicate laughter that she had seen it.  Pretending not to hear her he continued down the hall, dreading, yet at the same time, eagerly anticipating their next session.

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28/09/2005

Karmic Food Chain

Both Wiccans/Witches and Buddhists believe in the idea of Karma to some extent.  This means that what you put into the Universe will come back to bite you in the ass eventually--three times worse than what you inflicted--even if you're dishing it out to someone who REALLY deserves it and needs to be taught a Karmic Lesson.  Why is it that people insist that the Law of Threefold always applies?  Shouldn't there be a loophole in there somewhere?  I mean, doesn't it make sense that there would be a Karmic Food Chain where someone who has been screwed over in the past would have the privilige of ensuring that someone who is in the habit of screwing people over now is smacked upside the head with their well-deserved Karmic payback without being bit in the ass by the Law of Threefold?  Karma has to come back at these assholes somehow, what better way than to allow someone who has been harmed by such behavior be that Karmic Vehicle?  It seems to me that not only is Karma served in that way, but Justice as well.  Just a thought.

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14/09/2005

Crucify Bush!

Everywhere I travel I leave a wave of shock and destruction behind me and it's sooooooo fun!  For expamle, here is just a bit of the conversation I had with my oldest daughter in the grocery store--keep in mind I live in a very rich, conservative, Christian, uptight, and anal retentive subhurb...

"Hey mom, look, Jesus is on earth... right now."

"Oh yeah, where, Dennys?"

"No, look" ::runs to magazine rack, comes back with tabloid:: "See, he's here RIGHT NOW.  Of course, this is the magazine that said the world was going to end in three weeks like two months ago, so they might not be a reliable news source."  ::giggles::

Mom:  "Well hey, maybe they'll crucify him again."  ::lady in line in front of me throws me a dirty look, which only gets me goin'::

"Hey, look at Rolling Stone, 'Bush vs. Anti war Mother'.  He kills her son and then won't even be bothered to talk to her.  What an ass."  ::audible gasp from the woman behind me::  I don't know what bothered her more, the fact that I was swearing while talking to my 13 year old daughter or the fact that I accused her beloved idol of murder.  Isn't there something in the Bible about idolatry?

Just when they thought that I was going to finally keep my mouth shut, my eyes light up and I suddenly exclaim, "Maybe they'll crucify Bush!!  Oooooh, that sounds like fun.  I wanna crucify Bush!  Can I, can I, please?  It would be so much fun!"

::Lady behind me having massive coronary as the woman in front of me progresses into of her third stroke::

They both wanted to say something to me, I could feel it, but they didn't dare make a scene in nice, quiet suburbia.  That's okay, I'd had my fun anyway.  I'm so evil, I know.  And damn proud of it!!!  Hehehehehe

Laters!
Raven

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07/09/2005

Evil Can Be Sexy

My very favorite-est episodes of Buffy and Angel are the ones with Angelus.   Those eyes, that hair, that body, those big long, sharp fangs--I have this whole pain thing goin' on at times--and he is just soooo evil.  Not your usual vampire evil but a gleeful evil.  You can tell he just ADORES being evil, he majorly gets off on it.  Plus, he always has the best one liners like, when he was taking an acid trip with Faith and she asked him him if he kissed his mamma with that mouth he said, "No, but I ate her with it."  And, when he was talking to Cordi when she went all evil and he said, "Hey, you're preachin' to the guy who ate the choir."  I mean, ya just can't go wrong with evil sarcasm like that.  Hehehe

Okay, I gotta go pick up Calamity Jane Junior.  She's on crutches again and can't take the bus home. 

Laters!
Raven

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05/08/2005

Now that's too much vagina!

Okay, I admit it, I had to change my picture.  Even though it was artistic, not pornographic, the huge vulva was just too distracting!

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What was that mantra again?

I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I want to project nothing but death and destruction into the unsuspecting world around me.  Not because of anyone or anything specific, hell I haven't even talked to anyone yet today.  But it's like all of the molecules in my body are vibrating at 50 times their normal frequency and I already want to punch the first person that pisses me off even slightly.  According to my various readings my lesson of the moment is patience.  They, whoever 'they' are, say 'The reward of patience is... patience.'  Now, am I the only one to think that is insanely unfair?  Come on, I fight to be patient with all the morons around me that get paid to fuck up their job and then treat me like I'm a huge inconvenience--hello, I pay your salary you idiot!--so I put up with all this shit and I get more patience, so I can deal with MORE shit?  Seems to me that I should get like a trip to Cancun or a Lexus for my success in not maiming and/or killing the people in this world who have NO CLUE!  I mean, really, wouldn't I be doing the Universe a favor if... hmmm, I'd better not go there.

I maintain a healthy balance of my emotions.  I maintain a healthy balance of my emotions. I maintain a healthy balance of my emotions...

 

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18/07/2005

Karmic Retribution

All I can say is that there are a whole lotta people out there that should get down on their knees and thank the Law of Karma.  My entire time as a Witch I have only cursed one person and let me tell ya, the Karmic backlash from that curse was a BITCH and I still have the scars to prove it--can you say WICKED skin rash!  Off the top of my head I can list like 30 people that really deserve to be cursed something wicked, but luckily for them they aren't worth the Karma!!!

Scary, I know, but I'm so okay with that!

 

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17/07/2005

Broken

Beaten, broken and battered, yet still I pull my bruised body forward.  The sweat blending with the tears I crawl inch by unbearable inch, the Universe pummeling me as I drag myself towards the next victory; a victory so small I wonder why I continue through the beatings to reach it.  With a shudder and a gasp the onlookers boo and hiss as my shaking fingers reach the finish line once again, a trail of blood and tears winding its way down the path behind me.  Unable to move I lie on the ground, the judgments and condemnations of the crowd crashing inside my skull, too tired to flinch at the blows still raining upon me, too weak to beg for the mercy I'm ever denied.  I want to give up, curl into a ball and evaporate into the earth but cruelly the Universe forces me on, never ceasing its assault.  So near to death yet always denied the peace of eternal slumber by a spirit to strong to give in.  The world around me is a blur, my mind unable to grasp the thoughts haunting and taunting my mind.  Crawling again, the flesh flayed from my fingers, my blood mixing with the soil I wish would consume me, I inch forward again toward the next victory I can't even see, unable to fathom what its all for.

Don't worry Universe, I'll keep fighting as long as I have breath in my body but I promise all those who try to beat me into the dust that I will rise someday.  I will fulfill my destiny, and all those who opposed, judged, condemned, and battered me will suffer tenfold for what they have done and I'll enjoy every second of the torture I inflict upon them!

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16/07/2005

A Time For Vengeance

I am your sun, the center of your universe.  Everything you think, do, and say will revolve around me and only me.  You will adore me, worship me, perform any feat I so desire in order to gain just one fleeting glance from my smoldering black eyes, one moment of my precious time.  You will hunger for me so deeply, so completely that to live without me for even one second will be unendurable agony as though the very flesh was flayed from your bones as you still lived and breathed.  I will cannibalize you as you are tortured by your desperate longing for me.  I command every speck of your attention to the detriment of all others in your life.  Never shall your thoughts stray from me, I will not tolerate it.  You will be consumed by the scorching fire of your passion for me or suffer the consequences of my unfeeling wrath.  I will take from you all that you have, everything you are, giving absolutely nothing in return but for those things that bring me pleasure.  I will use you shamelessly, maliciously devouring you inside and out for my own twisted enjoyment.  You will perform for me, obey my every command, and submit to my every whim abjectly, gladly and with utter gratitude for being granted the exquisite pleasure of bringing me ecstasy.   I will viciously extract every bit of energy and passion from you and when my fun is complete, when I become bored and indifferent to your advances, I will turn away as though you never existed, leaving you shattered and broken, beseeching pitifully for me to grace you with my presence for but another moment.  As your worthless pleas echo and fade into nothingness, my icy black eyes will already be searching for the next wretched soul that I will conquer.

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