Stuperhero Extraordinaire

28/08/2007

Patient My Ass!

Wow, we are having a major storm right now. It's raining, windy, and hailing like crazy! I like a good thunderstorm now and then, but this is insane.

Not much going on here. I have school today, which I'm dreading like the plague. My classes are so mind numbingly boring I could scream. But, I will drag myself there and type and listen to the lecture and not gouge my eyes out with a pen. I'm really hating school right now, in case you can't tell.

The Drunken Midgets are doing well. They are very excited to be starting school next week, and I am thrilled too. I will have my house back again! Yay!!! I love them dearly, but let me tell you, they are driving me crazy!

My meetings have been going well. I have met some really nice people and I'm slowly learning how to live life without chemicals. It's hard, but worth it. I'm trying to be patient and remind myself I haven't been sober for that long, but I'm a little frustrated that my life is still a bit unmanageable. But, admiting I am powerless over drugs and alcohol wasn't a magic wand that miraculously waved all my troubles away. The problems are still there, but hopefully they will start to get better and I'll be able to handle them better sober. I just have to be patient I guess.

Patience has never been easy for me. I'm an addict damn it, I want instant gratification! I want it NOW!

And they say that the reward of patience is... more patience. What's up with that? You mean I don't get the Grand Prize behind door number three? If I'm going to have to patiently wait for something I want a damn parade in return! It's only fair!!!

But, as my father was very fond of pointing out to me, Life isn't fair.

Fuck.

Who made up that rule?

Saw some pretty good bumper stickers the other day...

I found Jesus. He's drunk in my backseat.

I found Jesus. Have you seen my car keys?

I found Jesus. Will you guys quit losing him?

K, well, that's all I got for now.

Laters!

08:37 Posted in Recovery , School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

18/07/2007

Good Vibrations

I'm having another one of those 'vibrate into another dimension' days. I've only had three cups of coffee so far, but I left out the creamer in the last one so that it would be stronger cuz I am exhausted, so all my molecules are once again vibrating at 50 times their normal speed.

Yesterday was a very good day at school, although very boring. I have the same teacher for both classes and listening to her talk for three hours got a bit old. But, I rocked in my Keyboarding class and am already two units ahead of everyone else. She said if we finish all of our work by the ninth week, we wouldn't have to come to class the final week, so that's what I'm shooting for.

I do have a bit of homework I have to do today though. I have to read a chapter and answer a bunch of review questions for Business Writing. I'm sure that will be mind numbingly boring, but let me tell you, it's so much better than having to study for labs. I'm tellin' ya, Hematology almost killed me. And then there was Chemistry, which was just as bad. I'm really hoping all those labs transfer over from Argosy so I don't have to take anymore.

Of course, I may never know as they won't release my damn transcripts until I start making payments on that overpayment at Argosy. I made arrangements, but haven't had the money to honor them, so I'm kinda screwed. I still don't think I should have to pay that back, it was their damn clerical error, not mine. I even called to make sure it was all mine cuz it seemed like a lot, and they said yes, it's all yours, go ahead and spend away!

Bastards.

They killed Kenny!

Those bastards!! 

Just kidding.

Sorry, South Park backflash there.

It's from all that acid I did in the 60's.

Okay, so I wasn't even alive in the 60's and have never done acid in my life. But it sounded good.

In other news, the eldest Drunken Midget will be gone for the next five days at Girl Scout Jamboree. So, there won't be any fighting, at least not between them, but that means I have to entertain the youngest all week. That's going to suck. Maybe if I'm lucky she'll stay at a friend's house and I can have a night to myself. Not that I have any money or anywhere to go, but that's okay. I don't mind being alone. I tend to prefer my own company anyway. Being a narcississtic Leo, would you expect any different?

K, it's about that time again, Angel is about to start.

Laters!

09:48 Posted in Blather , Drunken Midgets , School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

11/07/2007

Feelin' Groovy

Just returned from my orientation and everything went well. I am all set to start classes next Tuesday. I have my books and my financial aid went through. And the best news is that I don't have to pay any money out of my mom's pocket for school as my grants and loans covered it all. We thought I would owe $500 when all was said and done but not only do I not owe any money, I'm going to have extra to pay for gas and scrubs throughout the semester. Yay!! My mom is going to be so thrilled to hear that. And maybe, just maybe since she doesn't have to pay for my school I'll get that IPod I wanted for my birthday. Hehehe I'm not getting my hopes up though as she already gives me lots of money throughout the month so I don't want to be too greedy when it comes to my bday present.

I can't believe my birthday is in 15 days. I'll be 31 for the fourth... or is it fifth... time. I'm not sure. I think it's the fifth time. So, for all intents and purposes, as far as I'm concerned I'll be 31 yet again, which is the age I plan to be forever. So there.

There was a really cute guy at my orientation who I was chatting with. He's like 20 something so he's a bit younger than me, but young is good. I like young. Not too young of course, but anything over 21 works for me.

And I am happy to report that I have lost 12 pounds so far. Yay!!! I am so very thrilled about that. Pretty soon I'll be able to fit into all my (somewhat) skinny clothes again. I can't wait!

In other news, the Drunken Midgets are still sleeping and it's almost 1:00. I should probably wake them up soon.

I'm hoping to meet a friend for coffee this afternoon, she's getting her hair permed at 2:00 so I'm hoping we can meet after that. I have other things to do later this afternoon, so hopefully it won't take her too long to get her hair done. It's someone that I went to Argosy with who also ended up transfering to Minnesota School of Business this summer. It was good to see her again, she's really cool. So, if I'm lucky that will work out.

You have no idea how excited I am to start school next week. I have been going insane with the boredom and will be so happy to get out of the house two days a week. Especially since my classes this semester are such easy classes. I mean, how hard can Keyboarding and Business Writing be? Not very.

I have not been getting any writing in. It's like all the creativity has been sucked right out of me. I so want to get some more written in my book, or maybe pump out another short story or four, but the writer's block is killing me. Maybe I should do a spell to foster creativity or something. Supposedly if you wipe a bay leaf over your paper, or the keyboard on your puter, it's supposed to bring inspiration, but when I tried it I did it with a dried leaf and maybe it needs to be fresh, cuz it didn't do a whole lot for me.

So, I just keep reading and reading, hoping that I will find inspiration that way. I've heard the best way to cure writer's block is to read, read, read, and read some more so that's what I'm doing. I keep praying and praying that my dream will be realized and I often visualize my book as I want it to look like when it finally is published cuz if I don't realize my dream of being a successful author, someone will die. And it won't be me.

K, well, I'm off to... do something.

Laters!

18:03 Posted in Blather , School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

19/05/2007

Bored Out of My Mind

Oh my Goddess, I am so bored. The kids are gone and I have nothing to do. Not that I'm feeling particularly motivated to do anything. I can't wait until school starts in July cuz I am going nuts being in this house 24/7. My kids have more of a life than I do, which is sad. It will be so nice to be in school and around people again.

Besides, then I'll finally feel like I'm moving forward again. I've been feeling like I'm kind of in limbo or something, just hanging out, doing nothing, not moving forward. I hate that feeling. And I hate being freaking bored all the time. I will appreciate my time at home so much more when I'm actually away from it for a while every day.

And, best of all, I won't dread going to school every day now. The last couple semseters at Argosy, I was dreading having to take my labs, and I was getting stressed cuz I was realizing that I was going to hate working in the lab. And I felt stuck, like I had no choices. So, now that I'm at MSB, and working towards something I think I will enjoy doing, life is much better. I'm not nearly so stressed and panicked. I won't make as much money, but, that's okay. And I can always go back to school later and be the medical office manager or something.

Although I am kind of screwed, cuz apparently Argosy overpaid me in Pell grants, so now I owe them $1,700. I made a payment plan with them, but I so can't afford it, and my mom is already stressed over how much money I put on her card every month. I am just so screwed. And I hate to go to my mom and tell her about this debt cuz she's stressed enough with the eldest Drunken Midget getting her license and causing our car insurance to go through the roof.

I'm so glad I only have a year of school left. Cuz, this whole financial thing is stressing me out to no end. My mom is getting on me, and I'm doing the best I can, and it just really sucks right now. But, next year at this time I will be on my way to having a job, and it will hopefully be so much better. Although, I'm going to have about 40 grand in student loans to pay off, which is going to suck beyond belief.

I just pray that I'll make enough to be able to afford my loan payments every month and still have enough to live on. Cuz I don't want to have to depend on my parents for money any more. It just so sucks beyond words.

And, I'm so pissed cuz I have an account on my credit report that I had no knowledge of, and it is the only thing wrecking my credit. So I disputed it and I got an email back the other day saying that they had confirmed the account as belonging to me. So, now I have to find out who they confirmed that information with, and go to that party and dispute it with them. Like I have nothing better to do than fuck around with this. Oh, wait, I don't have anything better to do. Damn.

And I have the sneaking suspicion that the person who opened the account was one of my exes, cuz it was opened about the time we were dating, and he worked for the bank the account is through. We had a joint account at TCF, so he had all my information and could have opened it. If it was him, I hope they track his ass down and put him in jail cuz he's screwed me over in so many ways.

If that account keeps me from getting an alternative loan to pay for my school, I'm going to be pissed off. Cuz my school expenses will exceed my grants and loans and neither I nor my parents can afford to pay them. And I have to finish this last year and get working or I'm just so fucked. And not Proper Fucked either.

Okay, I'm off to hop in the shower.

Laters!

13:50 Posted in A Whole Lotta Nothin' , School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

15/05/2007

Say What?

It has been a very uneventful week so far. Last night my eldest had an orchestra concert, but beyond that, it's the same ol' same ol'. I'm stuck in a rut, but its a comfortable rut and I'm happy here for the moment, but will be very excited to start school again and get out of my rut come July.

I've decided that I'm going to take three classes this summer. I'll take one of them online if I can, and do the other two on campus to get me out of the house for a few hours a couple days a week. I go in to register on Monday. Then I will be pretty close to be ready to start school. I'm very excited, sitting around the house all day does tend to get boring.

But, I'm enjoying the boredom for now cuz like I said, it's comfortable in my rut.

In other news, Angel is on so I'm gonna go.

Laters!

10:14 Posted in School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

25/03/2007

BOO!

I have had a very busy morning so far. We were at the pool by ten and then I had to pick up my daughter at her 'father's' house and bring her to Girl Scouts because apparently if he isn't dropping her at my place he won't bring her home. Fucking wanker. So, this weekend I got to drive both ways cuz I dropped her there yesterday. If it didn't take so much energy I'd hate him, but he's not worth my energy, yet he is a definite irritant in my life. One that I need to bitch about occassionally.

So, for now I have the house to my self while the eldest is at her Girl Scout meeting and the youngest went out to lunch with her Big Sister. That will give me about an hour to myself. I wish it were more, but I'll take what I can get.

Other than that, not much going on. I sent for some information from the school I want to transfer to so I'll be talking to someone about that soon. I'm debating if I'm still going to take online courses at Argosy this summer, cuz I need the financial aid money, and I don't know how taking a sememster off would affect my elegibility. But, it might be too late to get into the classes I want. Plus, I have to apply for financial aid and I'm not sure how I would switch it over to the other school in the fall.

So, I'm excited to be switching schools and programs, as I've mentioned repeatedly. I'm also very excited to move, it will give me a chance to get rid of all the things I don't need that are taking up room in my apartment, and I've been wishing I could move for a while now anyway.

But, if I don't get a two bedroom plus den or a townhouse I'm going to be crushed. I've tried to not get my hopes up too high, but I'm not having much success at it. So, I just keep a praying for it.

I am completely and thouroughly enjoying being single again. Not that it's much of a difference since he was never around much, even before he left the state, but it's nice to be free again and not have to worry about him or if he's okay, or if we were going to make it through the distance. It's quite a big relief.

And since I ordered some new toys, I'm okay in the sex department for quite a long time. I've found that most men can't bring me the pleasure I can bring myself so I'm not missing anything by not having a partner there. No offense guys, I'm sure some of you know how to please a woman, but a majority of you have absolutely not a clue.

And, I even bought a bunch of rechargable batteries so I don't have to spend so damn much on batteries anymore, cuz that was getting really expensive.

I'm really liking The Spiral Dance, by Starhawk. I'm going to see about picking up some of her other books, if there are any, which I'm sure there are. I also need to finish a couple books I started a few weeks back, one on the 'myth' of the Goddess through time, and one on the Feminine Spirituality movement in America. They are good books but they are kinda textbook oriented and a bit dry so I can only read them for short periods at a time.

Well, I'm off to find something to do to entertain myself for the next forty five minutes.

Laters!

17:55 Posted in Blather , Raven Revealed , School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

13/12/2006

ALL DONE!!!!

I am FINALLY done with this semseter as of right now!!!! YAY!!!!

So, ready for the even better news? I totally ACED both my finals. I got 76/80 on my Hematology final and.....

Pause for dramatic affect.....

99.5/100 on my Microbiology final!!

Do I totally rock or what??? So, this semester I ended up with three A's and a B+ which will bring me that much closer to the 4.0 I so desperately desire.

YAY!!!!

Okay, well I am going to go celebrate!!

Laters!! 

17:23 Posted in Blather , School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

12/12/2006

Today is the Day

Well, today is my first day of finals. I have studied and studied and I can't possibly study anymore. At least not for Hematology. I still have a lot of studying to do for my Microbiology final tomorrow, but I'll get to that this afternoon. And tonight. And tomorrow morning. And then, as of noon tomorrow I will officially be done with this wretched semester. Yay!!

I am so very excited about that, let me tell you! You have no idea!!!

In other news, I really have no other news as my entire life has consisted of homework the last couple of weeks.

Laters!

14:27 Posted in School Shit | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

08/12/2006

I Don't Wanna!

I have so very much studying to do for finals next week and I don't wanna!! If I have to read anymore about bacteria, anemias, or leukemias I'm just going to DIE!! :::throws a fit a toddler would envy::: I don't know how I'm going to manage to force myself to study this weekend.

And on top of the studying I have to get my house cleaned up, it's so awful right now I can't even stand to be here. I'm just so damn tired and overwhelmed with everything I don't wanna do that either. :::throws another, smaller tantrum::: I just returned from taking my mom to the dentist and was taking a minute to relax and listen to Sublime before I get to work.

But, my minute is up now so I'd better get cracking.

Laters!

17:52 Posted in Blather , School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

07/12/2006

I So Rule!!

Well, my heart is still beating and my body is still animate, but my brain officially died two days ago. It overloaded on bacteria and leukemias and I felt the last of it oozing out of my ears last night.

Yet, somehow, even with being braindead, I managed to ace both my Microbiology lab proficiency final and my last unit test in lecture yesterday. Don't ask me how, but I happened to get A's on both of them, braindead and all. Now if I can only to that off with my unit test in Hematology today and my lecture finals next week, I will be one happy fucking camper.

In other news, not much going on. The house looks like it exploded as there are clothes, dishes and toys everywhere and I haven't had it in me to get on the girls to clean it up. I think I'm getting sick as I have a very sore throat and I'm all congested, but with all the stress of finals coming up and all the tests I've had to take lately, it's no surprise. Stress does wonderful things to a girl's immune system.

Well, I'm off to hit the books once again.

Laters!

11:29 Posted in School Shit | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

03/12/2006

Homework, Homework, and More Homework

I have done about three hours of homework today and my head is throbbing. I need a break. I studied Microbiology this morning and Hematology this afternoon. I'm trying to focus on it but my head just isn't in it, there's too many other things swirling around in there that I can't stop thinking about. Those of you close to me know what those things are so I won't go into it here as I've blathered about it endlessly on my other, anonymous blog.

I still can't believe I have five damn tests coming up in the next two weeks. Three of them this coming week and then the remaining two finals next week. I know I say this every semester but this is going to be the death of me. My brain has already degraded into a nonspecified mushy, runny substance and I don't know how I'm going to manage to get A's on all these tests. At this point I'd settle for B's but I'm not even sure I'll be able to manage that. Of course, that's another thing I say every semester but never get anything lower than a B, but there is a first time for everything.

I just can't focus on all these damn leukemias and myelodysplastic disorders, not to mention all the freaking anearobic bacteria and identifying tests I have to memorize for Microbiology. I'm going to lose my mind...too late. Damn it, I can't even type, it took me five tries just to type the word late. Arrgh!

I need a holiday far, far away from here. The stress is slowly killing me and the confusion and indecision concerning other aspects of my life isn't helping matters at all.

Won't somebody save me from my life????

20:13 Posted in School Shit | Permalink | Comments (3) | Email this

30/11/2006

One Down--Five to Go

I nearly had a freaking heart attack this morning when I got to lab and realized that our proficiency final is not next week, it was TODAY!! And I hadn't studied at all cuz I thought it was next week! So, needless to say, I was convinced I was going to get a C or lower, and I was praying that I didn't fail all the way through the exam. We had to identify pictures of red and white blood cell morphology and inclusions from pictures and do a Complet Blood Cell Count and a White Blood Cell Differential, which is just counting and identifying the different types of white blood cells from a blood smear slide.

I panicked all the way through it. I was convinced that I failed it completely... Then she corrected it in class when we were done (I was the second to finish) and...

Pause for dramatic affect.....

I got an A!!!

Can you believe it? I can't!!! I did my happy dance all the way home, which was hard to do in the car and caught me some strange looks from other drivers, but hey, I'm okay with that. Now I only have five tests, including three finals, left to conquer in the next couple of weeks.

I am absolutely ecstatic!!!!

17:15 Posted in School Shit | Permalink | Comments (4) | Email this